Cause for Success - Message to Missionary kids and Pastor's kids

Cause for Success - Message to Mks and Pks

What is True Success?

Success in the eyes of the Lord may diverge from those of the world. Many with worldly lenses may think of success as fame, attention, power, wealth, or health. The success of the world can also be heavily associated with self-exaltation. Yet, let us constantly remember, as Christ said in Matthew 16:26 and Luke 9:25, that “there is no true profit even if one gains the whole world, yet forfeits one’s soul”. Thus, the verse hints at how success – in God’s perspective – is about the perseverance of the soul – becoming living sacrifices (Romans 12:1) and honorable vessels (2 Timothy 2:21) for Christ and His Kingdom.

Matthew 16:25, the preceding verse, states how one who would save his life will lose it, whereas one who loses his life for His sake will find it – epitomizing the essence of self-denial and self-emptiness (Philippians 2:5-8). To find life is equivalent to being spiritually alive (Ephesians 2:1-10), and one who has yet to be justified by Grace through faith (Romans 3:24; Titus 3:7), and sanctified by the continual abiding presence of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:11; 1 Peter 1:2), is spiritually dead. Nevertheless, how can one – especially an MK (Missionary Kid) or PK (Pastor’s Kid) – become successful in the viewpoint that truly matters? 

The Key to Success

Many missionary kids and pastor’s kids have (hopefully) Christ-centered, theologically sound, and Biblically proficient parents – veteran warriors of Christ who are well-equipped with the full-armor of God. These parents have dealt (and are dealing) tons of damage towards the dominion of the ‘god’ of this world (2 Corinthians 4:4). Hence, in the eyes of our one and only true enemy, the devil, our parents are fearless fighters who are ‘most wanted’ in his sight, because they are oftentimes great examples of people fighting the good fight (1 Timothy 6:12) and enduring till the end (Matthew 24:13) on the front lines in the spiritual warfare.

A huge advantage a second-generation Christian, especially an MK or PK, could have in order to develop into fearless warriors of Christ, is by having parents whom they can imitate and follow – similar to Timothy having Paul as his spiritual father (1 Timothy 1:2).

In contrast, the Parable of the Sower illustrates the harsh reality of some who do not have these advantages and fails to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ – because even though they hear the word of the Kingdom, they do not understand it; and the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart (Matthew 13:18-19). Continuing with verses 20 to 21, Christ states how some will even receive the Word with joy, yet, because of their lack of a solid foundation in Christ, the Cornerstone of our faith, they fail to endure tribulations and persecutions.

Compared with those who have heard the word of the Kingdom, but do not understand, or lack a solid foundation, many MKs and PKs are blessed to spiritually succeed because of their parents. Oftentimes, they are more than capable of acting as their children's spiritual mentors, models, and overseers. This is stated as many MKs and PKs will certainly have a better understanding of the infallible, inerrant, and incorrupt Word of God – which will never pass away even if heaven and earth does (Matthew 24:35; Mark 13:31; Luke 21:33) – even if they fail to comprehend what their Sunday school teachers say; because they have their parents! (Who are oftentimes far more equipped than many Sunday school teachers, for they have had training in seminaries) On the other hand, many second generation Christians will have a far lower chance to “hear the word of the Kingdom and fail to understand it”, compared to those who do not have a valuable spiritual resource which they can access in their own households.

The parents of many MKs and PKs possess a far greater role than merely being a spiritual resource, but a spiritual stronghold that is able to provide spiritual, relational, and emotional support to their heirs. On the contrary, many who have received God’s Word with joy, but do not have a constantly accessible source of spiritual support, may fail to withstand the enemy’s attack; being powerless to put on Christ.

For this reason, many missionary kids and pastor’s kids are greatly blessed by having God-fearing parents – the key to being living sacrifices and honorable vessels for Adonai Yahweh. If each and every MK inherited all of their parents’ godly and spiritual qualities, they would surely be well-equipped to fight the good fight of faith and endure till the end. Think about how much harder it would be to foster a solid foundation in Christ even when those in your own household are against what you believe, without even mentioning some Christian families that are new to the faith, inexperienced to the message of righteousness, and incompatible with solid food (Hebrews 5:13-14).

The Cause for Success

Regardless of our financial backgrounds, many of us, mks and pks, are born into families of great spiritual wealth. We are blessed and privileged, yet, some may take it for granted. Just as how a wealthy child could easily be successful if one puts his or her vast resources in good use, the way we think of our parents as our spiritual mentors and models may determine our spiritual growth and success.

It is written in 2 Timothy 3:10-11, “You [Timothy], however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra—which persecutions I endured; yet from them all the Lord rescued me.” Apostle Paul commends Timothy as a good soldier of Christ and a worker approved by God, because of his spiritual son’s perseverance in following the footsteps of his spiritual father. Similar to Apostle Paul, I believe many parents of MKs and PKs are qualified to say to their successors: “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). Yet, do we follow our parents, our spiritual mentors and models which God has blessed us with – in their teaching, conduct, aim in life, faith, patience, love, steadfastness, and even in times of tribulations and persecutions?

It is written in Proverbs 1:8-9, “Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck” and in Proverbs 6:22 “When you walk, they [your parents] will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you.” As much as I do not want to say this, there are some Mks and Pks that can be so-called as “spoiled”, because they take for granted their resources and opportunities for success. They are not spoiled simply because they are born into wealthy families, whether spiritually or financially, for there are those who are mature, making effective use of their resources and opportunities, and becoming influential and successful people, making a difference in others’ lives. Rather, they are spoiled because they show by their choices in life that they do not value the spiritual wealth that they have been given. Do we take for granted our spiritual mentors and models – our wonderful resource for being a good and faithful servant to the Lord God of Hosts?

2 Timothy 1:3-14 is titled in the ESV as: “Guard the deposit entrusted to you”. Let us acknowledge that we are our parents’ inheritance, and their spiritual legacy continues in our lives. That being so, let us not aim to be successful in the eyes of the world, but as faithful soldiers and stewards; fighting the good fight of faith and conducting ourselves in a manner that is worthy of the gospel (Philippians 1:27), which our parents have already demonstrated. And finally, let us find success in guarding the good deposit entrusted to us with the help of the Holy Spirit - who lives in us (2 Timothy 1:14) – succeeding their legacy by carrying on their baton. I do not imply that all MKs or PKs are to “succeed” their parents by engaging in mission or full-time ministry, yet, we are to carry their legacy in the lives which we live – for it firstly reflects their deposit placed in our lives, as well the relationship we have with our Creator.

Our cause of success firstly lies in acknowledging one of the greatest spiritual gifts we could ever have, that is, our wonderful and loving parents, secondly, by following their footsteps as people who are worthy of the gospel, and lastly, inheriting their spiritual and godly qualities.

-Barnabas

How to deal with personal conflicts in the church

Personal conflicts takes place everywhere - even in church. Christians of different spiritual maturity may hurt others, whether intentional or not; and sometimes, some Christians may sin against another. As for me, the people who have hurt me most, are those in the church - pastors, preachers, and Christian leaders. (I'm not writing this because I'm hurt by them though~) Nonetheless, it is very important to be constantly filled with the Holy Spirit and to have a clear conscience, so that we can reflect upon our acts and carry out suitable actions if some of them have hurt others - through the conviction of the Holy Spirit. (Of course, offending others may not necessarily be a sin... Jesus offend many people too)

Matthew 18 verses 15 to 20, is a specific guideline that teaches us how to deal with personal conflicts. However, this guideline has specific conditions, which, if someone neglects the specific conditions, and misuses the guideline; that could pose to be a greater problem, such as abusing the Word of God.

Let's firstly understand what the guideline is, before getting into the specific conditions of when to, or not, to use the guidelines. I'll paste the ESV version:

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

In a nutshell, the verses firstly instruct us to confront a brother/sister who have sinned against you in private (step 1), hoping they'll repent. If they do not, you find another brother/sister in Christ, and confront him/her again. (step 2) If the person still believes how he/she is righteous in the respective manner - despite sinning - you bring it to the church - such as a pastor or the elder board members of a church or Christian organization. (step 3) If the pastor or elder confronts the one who sinned against you, and the person still does not repent, he or she shall be no different than a gentile or tax collector - signifying how he or she is not a Christian. (and may as well be kicked out of the church)

Let's focus on the conditions now.

To begin with, if you're wondering if someone offended you, and does not repent, can be branded as a pagan or non-believer; we need to focus on a specific wording used in scripture - sin. Someone who sinned against another is different from someone who only offended or hurt another. The price of sin is death, and to sin against another, may not be simply just saying something that hurt another; but sin - such as coveting a neighbour's spouse, or stealing someone's property. (in some cases, such acts are sins against God, as well as legal offenses; and of course, some language issues are sin) Therefore, scripture perfectly explains why if one commits sin, and does not repent despite knowing he/she has sinned, is a non-believer. The person who sins against you will claim to be a Christian - which is why the word 'brother' is used - he/she is (or was) your brother or sister in Christ! Yet, it may not matter in the end, for if the person has unrepentant sin, he/she cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven. (Reference verse: If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of The Truth (Jesus Christ), no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgement and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. Hebrews 10:26)

The first condition we need to acknowledge, is that the guidelines deals explicitly with sin. When it comes to sin, there's a clear distinction between what is right and wrong - more precisely, good and evil. If the personal conflict is simply a difference in perception or opinion, then  following the guidelines may not be necessary.

An unrepentant sinner, can only be an 'unrepentant' sinner, when he/she makes the choice of not repenting after acknowledging his/her sin. This is why the step 1 is crucial. A person who sins, whether or not conscious of his/her sin, does not change the fact that he/she sinned; yet, this may not necessarily symbolize how the person is not a Christian. (or he/she lost his/her faith; if you believe one cannot lose salvation, then take this as 'he/she hasn't truly been a believer in the first place') Step 1's importance lies in how, through direct confrontation with the sinner, the person who has sinned against you may come to realization of his/her wrongdoing. Thus, through the person's realization of his/her sin, hopefully he/she might repent. Only after Step 1, can we determine whether he/she is an unrepentant sinner. In James 4:17, it says, "So whoever knows the right thing to do but does not do it, it is sin for them."

The second condition, is that the person who has sinned against you is a brother or sister in Christ, meaning, he/she is (or claims to be) a Christian. This is important, because only believers are subjected to the church's (church - as in the body of Christ) discernment. All who claim to be coheirs with Christ are supposedly walking on a path of glorification, which they had denied themselves and are carrying their cross daily. (Matthew 16:24, Luke 6:23) However, if they aren't Christian, they do not share the same values and beliefs. In our current post-modern society, there's an ongoing trend  suggesting how there's 'no-absolute-truth', and what is 'truth' is based on perception. Therefore, 1 Corinthians 5 makes it clear of how we leave the judgement of non-believers to God. Biblical reasoning with non-believers may be unreasonable. (yet, if it's a legal offense then this does not apply)

The third and final condition, which is most important - as well as commonly misunderstood - is how the guidelines only apply to personal conflicts. The NIV Bible (and some other translations) makes the guidelines unclear when they discard the 'if your brother sins against you'. (the NIV Bible only titles it: Dealing with sin in the church) Thus, if there's sin in the church, which the offender does not necessarily sin against you, you are not obliged to follow the guidelines in Matthew 18.

Many people misuse and misapply the guidelines to 'any self-professing believer who sins in the church'. I'd say following the guidelines in such cases may not be wrong, but not necessary; however, I'll firstly prove why the guidelines only apply to people who sins against you, and not people who sin in the church.

By taking account of the Greek manuscripts (Septuagint), you'll account that the original text refers to someone who sins against you; and may not always be applicable to someone who sins in the church. The Greek words 'esi se', is translated to 'against you', therefore the guideline is only referring to someone who sins against you, and not guiding us to deal with anyone who sins in the church.

We need to consider the whole of the Bible in order to make a judgment. Yet, without studying Greek, you should be able to connote how this command, regarding a Christian who sins, is specifically speaking to personal conflicts. This is connoted, because if the title was 'dealing with sin in the church', or 'dealing with a Christian who sins', then the apostles themselves - under the conviction of the Holy Spirit - had gone against the guideline Jesus Christ instructed them to! Peter openly convicted the Jews of their sin in the Day of Pentecost (Acts 1:15-26, which the Jews were considered as their brothers by then); and he blasted Ananias and Sapphira of their sin upon the whole congregation in Acts 5:1-11. Other apostles such as Paul, would openly convict the church of their sin - such as sexual immorality in the church of Corinth. (Eg: 1 Corinthians 5:1-11)

If Jesus commanded us to deal with all types of sin in the church in such a manner, then even the apostles themselves did not comply to His command. The Word of God is infallible, and what is infallible cannot be contradictory; thus, we can discern how Jesus' command was regarding personal conflicts - whereas one party or individual has sinned against you. This further makes sense, for if you have a private issue with someone, it's sensible to firstly solve it between you and the person. Why would you take a personal issue to a third-party before a private discussion/confrontation? The entire conflict could merely be a misunderstanding.

Also, Jesus's command is logical. Let's say a staff of my church was caught in adultery; and to make it more explicit, he/she was caught using Ashley Madison. Do I need to privately message him/her saying "Hey, coveting someone's wife/husband is a sinful act; you need to repent."? In 1 Timothy 5:20, Paul says "as for those (elders of the church) who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear." Thus, because one's sin in a church may affect the entire congregation, the guidelines of Matthew 18:15-20 may not necessarily apply. This also explains why Paul and the other early apostles did not abide to the guidelines when sin was present in a few of the early churches - and the sin was not personal conflicts.

However, despite sin and personal conflicts may occur in the Body of Christ, let us apply what Paul instructed to the apostles in 2 Corinthians 5 - that is - to reaffirm a believer in love and forgiveness, as well as having fellowship with the believer despite what he/she has done.  

Under globalization and the advancement of social media, I personally think following the guidelines in Matthew 18 is becoming more and more difficult. This is epitomized, because it's easier to use the likes of Twitter and Facebook to express your anger and emotional pain because someone sinned against you or offended you. I'm not hitting out on freedom of speech, and yes, if we're talking about rights, we have the right to post whatever we want or whatever we feel on social media. However, living in the freedom of God is to love God and people with all that we do. We need to consider whether such actions will build up other people, as Ephesians 4:29 evokes. Following the guidelines in Matthew 18 is also a method which trains our self-control.

You might wonder how confronting someone, and speaking of his/her sin is an act of love. The love we are called to shed to one another - in which God has firstly shed to us - refers to the love of other's salvation. This is accounted because mankind has sinned and fallen short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23), and all believers are saved through grace and not through works. (Justification – Romans 5) Therefore, no one is ‘more worthy’ to be a coheir with Christ than the other; and because we have received the wondrous love, grace, and mercy from God, we are all (as in believers) commissioned to go into all of the world to spread His love. (Mark 16; Matthew 28) The gospel is ultimately about the love of God – the love of the cross - and to preach it, is an act of love for our neighbours.

Through confronting a brother or sister, we are not doing so to condemn, but to convict. We hope that, through making the offender realizing his/her sin, the person can repent and reconcile his/her relationship with God. This is why spreading the gospel, as stated in 2 Corinthians 5, is also known as the ministry of reconciliation.

Lastly, I previously said that we are not obliged to follow the guidelines if there is sin in the church, but the offender does not personally sin against you. Yet, I'd recommend to at least applying step 1 to Christians who sin in the church, because some believers may lack a clear conscience and sin unintentionally. They could've thought they've been God-fearing all along. This is why I loved Tobit's prayer in Tobit 3, which he asks God to 'forgive him of his sins which he did not mean to commit.'

All in all, in this article covers: (1) what we are to do when someone sins against us; (2) how and when we are to use the guidelines; and (3) what the love of God is. Let us constantly seek God, His Love, and His methods in each and every circumstance, for we are living in the freedom of God - not the freedom of the world.