Divorce: Prohibited or Permissible?
Let me be straight from
the start—the Bible DOES NOT TEACH divorce as permissible. Scripture presents divorce
as sinful, thus prohibited. However,
it may sometimes be appropriate because of one’s
hardness of heart (sin) in light of God’s
abundant mercy and grace. I will provide 3 main reasons for
my view.
#1 God’s heart and character: “I hate Divorce”
Divorce is prohibited because
it is against God’s heart and character. Some translations translate Mal 2:16
as: “For I [the Lord] hate divorce.”
While this passage is in the Old Testament, it has eternal significance as it
testifies to God’s unchanging heart and character (Heb 13:8). If God hates
divorce, how can believers do what God hates and claim to love Him? (love God =
keep His word) If God is morally good and He hates divorce, it means that
divorce is wrong and sinful (morally bad). Also, it means that divorce breaks His heart and that it displeases Him whenever it takes place.
Thus, God’s heart and
character on divorce is crystal clear and consistent—that He hates divorce and
He does not divorce His bride in spite of the countless sin and whorings which she
does (we do). If God has laid out an example for us to follow, then we should follow it.
#2 Nature of marriage is antithetical to divorce
Premise 1: God ordains (permits)
marriage
Premise 2: Marriage = not
divorce
Conclusion: God ordains (permits)
not divorce.
Divorce is prohibited
because it is antithetical to marriage. Marriage, man joining with woman, is
the opposite of divorce, man separating from woman. If one who marries vows to
not separate until death, how could divorce ever be permissible? If God is for
marriage—that every marriage is joined by God (Mk 10:12)—how can He permit divorce,
especially when Scripture writes: “Let no man separate”?
Thus, to marry is not to divorce
and to divorce is not to marry (Matt 5:32).
#3 Jesus does not permit divorce—He appropriates and necessitates
it (Matt 19; Mk 10; 1 Cor 7)
When the creation order
presents: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast
to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen 2:24 cf. Matt 19:5; Mk 10:7),
I don’t think this passage is pointing to an incident where one’s husband is always
trying beat up his wife, stating that they must be “proskollao”-ed—joined and glued together—until one dies. Genesis
2:24, requoted by Jesus in Matt 19:5 and Mk 10:7, is pre-fall and points to
the good creation order ordained by God regarding marriage. Yet, this passage is quoted by Jesus before He speaks on divorce when He was challenged by the Pharisees. The significance is that Jesus presents marriage as founded on the basis on Genesis 2:24--that the man and woman become inseparable as one flesh.
Now, let us examine the 3
main NT passages on divorce.
Key passage #1: Mark 10:2-12 (cf. Lk 16:18)
Thus, beginning with Mark’s
account (Mk 10:2-12), here’s a summary of what this passage means:
-
Rising action (verses 2-5):
The
Pharisees test Jesus about the Mosaic Law on divorce, in which THE LAW permits divorce on the basis of their hardness of heart—a phrase
indicating rebellion, sin, and unbelief in God.
- Climax (verses 6-9):
Jesus says that “from the beginning of creation”—indicating GOD’S INTENTION: “let no man separate.”
- Conclusion (verses 10-12):
Jesus once again makes it clear that whoever divorces and remarries commits adultery—sin.
Thus, in Mark’s account,
it seems really clear that, at the very least, we can be
confident in saying that (once again alongside the rest of Scripture) God is pro-marriage
and anti-divorce. God’s intention would not permit divorce. This passage also clearly
indicates divorce as sin.
Key passage #2: Matthew 19:1-12
In Matthew 19, the Pharisees
test Jesus (19:3-4), saying “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?”
(19:3) Again, Jesus quotes Genesis 2:24, that God’s creation ordination prohibits
divorce (19:4-6). The Pharisees continue to ask Him why the Law allows divorce
(19:7), in which Jesus replies again by saying “Because of your hardness of heart…” Again, divorce was allowed in
the law because of sin and rebellion.
The key to the passage is verse
9 (cf. 5:32), which writes: “whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual
immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” This verse indicates that
it is not sin to divorce one’s wife unless it is because of sexual immorality. However,
this verse does not indicate that divorce itself is permissible, rather an “appropriate”
thing to do because of our hardness of
heart (9:8) which is an effect of the fall. Mankind’s sinful nature does
not override God’s original creation intention.
Thus, it is unbiblical to
claim that Matthew 19 permits divorce. Divorce has always been and will always
be prohibited. Yet, it may be appropriate by our “hardness of heart”.
Key Passage #3: 1 Corinthians 7:8-16
1 Corinthians is written by Paul, yet, what he writes evokes what Jesus has said. Here's an overview of this passage, which is really clear if you take the time to read it:
Verses
8-9 (cf. 7:39-40): Unmarried and widows can marry, though Paul thinks it is
good for them to remain as they are.
Verses
10-11: The Lord charges the married not to separate nor divorce.
Verses
12-14: The believer should not divorce an unbelieving wife.
Verses 15-16: If the UNBELIEVER (not believer!) divorces, “let it be so.”
Verdict: Divorce is
prohibited for believers. If the unbeliever demands to separate, let it be the appropriate thing to do.
Thus, from all the major New
Testament passages on divorce, the general consensus seems to be really clear on the
issue of divorce, that it is prohibited for those who submit to Christ as Lord.
It is perhaps appropriate (the right thing to do) on the basis of adultery because
of their hardness of heart—as evoked by an
unbeliever!
As I mentioned earlier in this section, if a husband is violent towards his wife and his children, it may be appropriate or even necessary to divorce also because of his hardness of heart—but the condition of human fallenness does not mean divorce itself is permissible. Also, if a husband is indeed violent, I wonder if he is a believer. Nonetheless, divorce is prohibited, not permissible, and Christians who aspire to live like God should not divorce.
The Bible cannot be clearer on this issue:
1) One can remarry if one’s spouse has passed away (Rom 7:3; 1 Cor 7:39).
2) One cannot remarry on any other basis. “Whoever remarries commits adultery” (Matt 5:32; Mk 10:12; Lk 16:18), which is sin.[1]
Remarriage is NOT a sin that Jesus’ blood cannot atone for. However, it is a sin that leaves a stain, alongside far-reaching terrible impacts and implications.
Conclusion:
I fully understand that many people have known people, or have personally experienced a divorce. My goal in this article is not to condemn as all have fallen short of God's glory. Rather, I pray that a biblical understanding of divorce may allow God's people to view marriage rightly--that it is a covenant and union that represents God's image. Let us honor marriage and experience the beauty it brings--as divorce destroys and remarriage (unnaturally) ravishes.
[1] Some may argue that “the brother or sister is not enslaved” (δεδούλωται)
in 1 Corinthians 7:15 points the one who has been divorced by an unbelieving spouse
as having the right to remarry. I disagree with this notion, but even if I were
to concede, I would say that this passage is ambiguous.
Yet, considering Matthew 5:32, Mark 10:12, and Luke 16:18, it seems unequivocally
clear that remarriage on any basis other than death is sin.
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