God is not with me when I’m alone?

God is not with me when I’m alone?

 (How to deal with personal conflicts in the church – part 2)

If you look up some other articles in my blog, you’ll recount that I enjoy writing and commenting on a lot of sayings that appear to be Biblical, but are in fact misquoted - such as ‘do not judge’. This article will cover another example of a common but wrongly quoted scripture: “for where two or three gather together in My Name, there I Am with them” (Matthew 18:20). I’ve heard this at a very small age, and I had never felt anything appealing about it. (Usually, when there’s a ‘for’ in the beginning of a verse, it’s cannot be directly pulled out of its context)

First of all, does the verse signify how God is not with me if I’m waiting for Him alone? Hence, do I not need to do devotions alone, for unless I have devotion with another 2 or 3 people, God is not with me? Am I unable to worship before The Lord with all of my might, like David did in 2 Samuel 6:14, just because I am not worshiping with someone else? God is a communal God, and when there’s anytime I’m not living a communal life, has God turned away from me like how I’m someone who worshipped idols back in the times of the Old Testament?

Hebrews 13 is titled “Christ’s Unchanging Nature”, and it is written in verse 5 that He will never leave or forsake any of us. Hence, does scripture contradict, because, according to Matthew 18:20, God is not with us unless we are with other brothers and sisters in Christ? To understand the mystery of God's Word, which is now revealed to those enclosed in Him (Colossians 1:26), we need to consider the whole context of the inerrant, infallible, incorrupt, and corroborated Word of God in order to make an accurate judgment. 

God is always with us and He will never leave or forsake us; in fact, we are never alone and always accompanied by 3 persons – God The Father, Christ The Son, and The Holy Spirit. God always with us no matter what state we are in; God is with us, as in, He’s always beside us because He is omnipresent. However, if you look at the context of Matthew 18:15-20, which is titled dealing with personal conflicts in the Church, you’ll find out that the ‘there I am with them’ does not refer to how God is with us as in how He’s beside us, but how He is with us in the case regarding the unrepentant sinner!

(Please, please read my article on How to deal with personal conflicts in the church)

Jesus was teaching His disciples – as well as all of us, because 99% of what Jesus said to His disciples are directed to all of The Body of Christ – how to deal with a sinning brother or sister in Christ. Christ was always referring to using more people as witness when someone sins against you, and ‘sinned against you’ is not something that’s merely a difference in opinion, but something that’s Biblically accounted for being right or wrong – something that God has an absolute stance for, which is enlisted in His Word (both Jesus Christ, for He is The Word – John 1:1,14; and The Word of God).

Matthew 18:15-20 deals with the important theme of unrepentant sin, whereas if the offender does not repent after sinning, knowing that he/she has sinned against God and man, he/she will be no different than a gentile or tax collector – a non-Christian or someone who is not justified by The Blood. No one who has unrepentant sin can inherit The Kingdom. Unrepentant sin is no different than making sin a practice, and 1 John 3:8 makes it clear of how whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, and Christ made it clear in the Gospels that whoever is not with Him, is against Him – never mind the person being of the devil! Thus, the case regarding the brother/sister who has sinned against you is a serious one, for it is dealing with excommunication; and if God is not with us regarding something that’s supposed to be black and white (good and evil), that’s a big deal; for it’s either: we (the accusing) are rightfully, Biblically, and Spirit-filled in convicting – not condemning – the unrepentant sinner (the accused); or we are falsely accusing one’s wrongdoing – which Christ will say: "Blessed are you (<-- the falsely accused) when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you" (Matthew 5:11-12). The issue may as well come down to who’s truly in Christ (in that situation, not referring to one's eternity), therefore, He has to be with us, or else we’ll come before God on the Day of Judgment and we will not like it then.

Thus, the ‘two or three gathered in My Name’ is mostly not referring to church-goers, but elders of the church, because the case has been brought up to the entire church – symbolizing a massive issue – and God is with them as they will pass on a life-changing decision regarding the unrepentant sinner. (which he/she will mostly be excommunicated. Unrepentant sin is a big deal; for instance, someone rapes a brother/sister in Christ and yet doesn’t repent for it –  a big deal.)

Hebrews 10:26 “For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth (unrepentant sin), there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or three witnesses. How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has trampled underfoot the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace?”

All in all, God is always with us – the unrepentant sinner as well – for He is Love and omnipresent. He wants all to repent and none to perish (2 Peter 3:9). There is nowhere He cannot be, or no thing He cannot know – and no thing He can forget. However, Matthew 18:20 specifically refers to God being with two or more people – in the sense of God being against those whom the two or more people are against, regarding the specific case where a brother/sister has unrepentantly sinned against another in the church. This is why Christ says in verse 18 “Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

Let us understand, quote, apply and live out the Word of God in the rightful manner we are to do so – with a clear conscience and the filled presence of The Holy Spirit.

-Barnabas

How to deal with personal conflicts in the church

Personal conflicts takes place everywhere - even in church. Christians of different spiritual maturity may hurt others, whether intentional or not; and sometimes, some Christians may sin against another. As for me, the people who have hurt me most, are those in the church - pastors, preachers, and Christian leaders. (I'm not writing this because I'm hurt by them though~) Nonetheless, it is very important to be constantly filled with the Holy Spirit and to have a clear conscience, so that we can reflect upon our acts and carry out suitable actions if some of them have hurt others - through the conviction of the Holy Spirit. (Of course, offending others may not necessarily be a sin... Jesus offend many people too)

Matthew 18 verses 15 to 20, is a specific guideline that teaches us how to deal with personal conflicts. However, this guideline has specific conditions, which, if someone neglects the specific conditions, and misuses the guideline; that could pose to be a greater problem, such as abusing the Word of God.

Let's firstly understand what the guideline is, before getting into the specific conditions of when to, or not, to use the guidelines. I'll paste the ESV version:

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

In a nutshell, the verses firstly instruct us to confront a brother/sister who have sinned against you in private (step 1), hoping they'll repent. If they do not, you find another brother/sister in Christ, and confront him/her again. (step 2) If the person still believes how he/she is righteous in the respective manner - despite sinning - you bring it to the church - such as a pastor or the elder board members of a church or Christian organization. (step 3) If the pastor or elder confronts the one who sinned against you, and the person still does not repent, he or she shall be no different than a gentile or tax collector - signifying how he or she is not a Christian. (and may as well be kicked out of the church)

Let's focus on the conditions now.

To begin with, if you're wondering if someone offended you, and does not repent, can be branded as a pagan or non-believer; we need to focus on a specific wording used in scripture - sin. Someone who sinned against another is different from someone who only offended or hurt another. The price of sin is death, and to sin against another, may not be simply just saying something that hurt another; but sin - such as coveting a neighbour's spouse, or stealing someone's property. (in some cases, such acts are sins against God, as well as legal offenses; and of course, some language issues are sin) Therefore, scripture perfectly explains why if one commits sin, and does not repent despite knowing he/she has sinned, is a non-believer. The person who sins against you will claim to be a Christian - which is why the word 'brother' is used - he/she is (or was) your brother or sister in Christ! Yet, it may not matter in the end, for if the person has unrepentant sin, he/she cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven. (Reference verse: If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of The Truth (Jesus Christ), no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgement and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. Hebrews 10:26)

The first condition we need to acknowledge, is that the guidelines deals explicitly with sin. When it comes to sin, there's a clear distinction between what is right and wrong - more precisely, good and evil. If the personal conflict is simply a difference in perception or opinion, then  following the guidelines may not be necessary.

An unrepentant sinner, can only be an 'unrepentant' sinner, when he/she makes the choice of not repenting after acknowledging his/her sin. This is why the step 1 is crucial. A person who sins, whether or not conscious of his/her sin, does not change the fact that he/she sinned; yet, this may not necessarily symbolize how the person is not a Christian. (or he/she lost his/her faith; if you believe one cannot lose salvation, then take this as 'he/she hasn't truly been a believer in the first place') Step 1's importance lies in how, through direct confrontation with the sinner, the person who has sinned against you may come to realization of his/her wrongdoing. Thus, through the person's realization of his/her sin, hopefully he/she might repent. Only after Step 1, can we determine whether he/she is an unrepentant sinner. In James 4:17, it says, "So whoever knows the right thing to do but does not do it, it is sin for them."

The second condition, is that the person who has sinned against you is a brother or sister in Christ, meaning, he/she is (or claims to be) a Christian. This is important, because only believers are subjected to the church's (church - as in the body of Christ) discernment. All who claim to be coheirs with Christ are supposedly walking on a path of glorification, which they had denied themselves and are carrying their cross daily. (Matthew 16:24, Luke 6:23) However, if they aren't Christian, they do not share the same values and beliefs. In our current post-modern society, there's an ongoing trend  suggesting how there's 'no-absolute-truth', and what is 'truth' is based on perception. Therefore, 1 Corinthians 5 makes it clear of how we leave the judgement of non-believers to God. Biblical reasoning with non-believers may be unreasonable. (yet, if it's a legal offense then this does not apply)

The third and final condition, which is most important - as well as commonly misunderstood - is how the guidelines only apply to personal conflicts. The NIV Bible (and some other translations) makes the guidelines unclear when they discard the 'if your brother sins against you'. (the NIV Bible only titles it: Dealing with sin in the church) Thus, if there's sin in the church, which the offender does not necessarily sin against you, you are not obliged to follow the guidelines in Matthew 18.

Many people misuse and misapply the guidelines to 'any self-professing believer who sins in the church'. I'd say following the guidelines in such cases may not be wrong, but not necessary; however, I'll firstly prove why the guidelines only apply to people who sins against you, and not people who sin in the church.

By taking account of the Greek manuscripts (Septuagint), you'll account that the original text refers to someone who sins against you; and may not always be applicable to someone who sins in the church. The Greek words 'esi se', is translated to 'against you', therefore the guideline is only referring to someone who sins against you, and not guiding us to deal with anyone who sins in the church.

We need to consider the whole of the Bible in order to make a judgment. Yet, without studying Greek, you should be able to connote how this command, regarding a Christian who sins, is specifically speaking to personal conflicts. This is connoted, because if the title was 'dealing with sin in the church', or 'dealing with a Christian who sins', then the apostles themselves - under the conviction of the Holy Spirit - had gone against the guideline Jesus Christ instructed them to! Peter openly convicted the Jews of their sin in the Day of Pentecost (Acts 1:15-26, which the Jews were considered as their brothers by then); and he blasted Ananias and Sapphira of their sin upon the whole congregation in Acts 5:1-11. Other apostles such as Paul, would openly convict the church of their sin - such as sexual immorality in the church of Corinth. (Eg: 1 Corinthians 5:1-11)

If Jesus commanded us to deal with all types of sin in the church in such a manner, then even the apostles themselves did not comply to His command. The Word of God is infallible, and what is infallible cannot be contradictory; thus, we can discern how Jesus' command was regarding personal conflicts - whereas one party or individual has sinned against you. This further makes sense, for if you have a private issue with someone, it's sensible to firstly solve it between you and the person. Why would you take a personal issue to a third-party before a private discussion/confrontation? The entire conflict could merely be a misunderstanding.

Also, Jesus's command is logical. Let's say a staff of my church was caught in adultery; and to make it more explicit, he/she was caught using Ashley Madison. Do I need to privately message him/her saying "Hey, coveting someone's wife/husband is a sinful act; you need to repent."? In 1 Timothy 5:20, Paul says "as for those (elders of the church) who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear." Thus, because one's sin in a church may affect the entire congregation, the guidelines of Matthew 18:15-20 may not necessarily apply. This also explains why Paul and the other early apostles did not abide to the guidelines when sin was present in a few of the early churches - and the sin was not personal conflicts.

However, despite sin and personal conflicts may occur in the Body of Christ, let us apply what Paul instructed to the apostles in 2 Corinthians 5 - that is - to reaffirm a believer in love and forgiveness, as well as having fellowship with the believer despite what he/she has done.  

Under globalization and the advancement of social media, I personally think following the guidelines in Matthew 18 is becoming more and more difficult. This is epitomized, because it's easier to use the likes of Twitter and Facebook to express your anger and emotional pain because someone sinned against you or offended you. I'm not hitting out on freedom of speech, and yes, if we're talking about rights, we have the right to post whatever we want or whatever we feel on social media. However, living in the freedom of God is to love God and people with all that we do. We need to consider whether such actions will build up other people, as Ephesians 4:29 evokes. Following the guidelines in Matthew 18 is also a method which trains our self-control.

You might wonder how confronting someone, and speaking of his/her sin is an act of love. The love we are called to shed to one another - in which God has firstly shed to us - refers to the love of other's salvation. This is accounted because mankind has sinned and fallen short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23), and all believers are saved through grace and not through works. (Justification – Romans 5) Therefore, no one is ‘more worthy’ to be a coheir with Christ than the other; and because we have received the wondrous love, grace, and mercy from God, we are all (as in believers) commissioned to go into all of the world to spread His love. (Mark 16; Matthew 28) The gospel is ultimately about the love of God – the love of the cross - and to preach it, is an act of love for our neighbours.

Through confronting a brother or sister, we are not doing so to condemn, but to convict. We hope that, through making the offender realizing his/her sin, the person can repent and reconcile his/her relationship with God. This is why spreading the gospel, as stated in 2 Corinthians 5, is also known as the ministry of reconciliation.

Lastly, I previously said that we are not obliged to follow the guidelines if there is sin in the church, but the offender does not personally sin against you. Yet, I'd recommend to at least applying step 1 to Christians who sin in the church, because some believers may lack a clear conscience and sin unintentionally. They could've thought they've been God-fearing all along. This is why I loved Tobit's prayer in Tobit 3, which he asks God to 'forgive him of his sins which he did not mean to commit.'

All in all, in this article covers: (1) what we are to do when someone sins against us; (2) how and when we are to use the guidelines; and (3) what the love of God is. Let us constantly seek God, His Love, and His methods in each and every circumstance, for we are living in the freedom of God - not the freedom of the world.