Divorce: Prohibited or Permissible?

Divorce: Prohibited or Permissible?

Among the countless secular views on the issue of divorce, there are two major Christian views on this issue: (1) divorce (and remarriage) is generally prohibited in Scripture and is sinful; and (2) divorce is certainly undesired by God, but can be permitted especially in light of adultery, in which one can be remarried from such basis.

 

Let me be straight from the start—the Bible DOES NOT TEACH divorce as permissible. Scripture presents divorce as sinful, thus prohibited. However, it may sometimes be appropriate because of one’s hardness of heart (sin) in light of God’s abundant mercy and grace. I will provide 3 main reasons for my view.

 

#1 God’s heart and character: “I hate Divorce”

Divorce is prohibited because it is against God’s heart and character. Some translations translate Mal 2:16 as: “For I [the Lord] hate divorce.” While this passage is in the Old Testament, it has eternal significance as it testifies to God’s unchanging heart and character (Heb 13:8). If God hates divorce, how can believers do what God hates and claim to love Him? (love God = keep His word) If God is morally good and He hates divorce, it means that divorce is wrong and sinful (morally bad). Also, it means that divorce breaks His heart and that it displeases Him whenever it takes place.

 

More importantly, the grand narrative of Scripture presents God, who calls His people His bride, who does not divorce her though He has all the rights to do so. One clear passage is Ezekiel 16 (alongside the likes of Isaiah 54, Jeremiah 3, and Hosea). This passage speaks of how the Lord made “[His] vow to you [His bride Israel] and entered into a covenant with you” (16:8), symbolic of a marriage union (16:9-14). Yet, what follows is 43 verses (16:15-58) that point out the bride’s faithlessness and adultery as a wife and the judgment pronounced on her. STILL, the Lord ends this chapter with: “I will remember my covenant with you” (16:60) even when the bride has “despised the [marriage] oath in breaking the covenant.” (16:59). God, who hates divorce, does NOT divorce.

 

Thus, God’s heart and character on divorce is crystal clear and consistent—that He hates divorce and He does not divorce His bride in spite of the countless sin and whorings which she does (we do). If God has laid out an example for us to follow, then we should follow it. 

  

#2 Nature of marriage is antithetical to divorce

Premise 1: God ordains (permits) marriage  

Premise 2: Marriage = not divorce

Conclusion: God ordains (permits) not divorce.

 

Divorce is prohibited because it is antithetical to marriage. Marriage, man joining with woman, is the opposite of divorce, man separating from woman. If one who marries vows to not separate until death, how could divorce ever be permissible? If God is for marriage—that every marriage is joined by God (Mk 10:12)—how can He permit divorce, especially when Scripture writes: “Let no man separate”?

 

Thus, to marry is not to divorce and to divorce is not to marry (Matt 5:32).

 

#3 Jesus does not permit divorce—He appropriates and necessitates it (Matt 19; Mk 10; 1 Cor 7)

When the creation order presents: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen 2:24 cf. Matt 19:5; Mk 10:7), I don’t think this passage is pointing to an incident where one’s husband is always trying beat up his wife, stating that they must be “proskollao”-ed—joined and glued together—until one dies. Genesis 2:24, requoted by Jesus in Matt 19:5 and Mk 10:7, is pre-fall and points to the good creation order ordained by God regarding marriage. Yet, this passage is quoted by Jesus before He speaks on divorce when He was challenged by the Pharisees. The significance is that Jesus presents marriage as founded on the basis on Genesis 2:24--that the man and woman become inseparable as one flesh.

 

Now, let us examine the 3 main NT passages on divorce.

 

Key passage #1: Mark 10:2-12 (cf. Lk 16:18)

Thus, beginning with Mark’s account (Mk 10:2-12), here’s a summary of what this passage means:

-       Rising action (verses 2-5):

The Pharisees test Jesus about the Mosaic Law on divorce, in which THE LAW permits divorce on the basis of their hardness of heart—a phrase indicating rebellion, sin, and unbelief in God.

-       Climax (verses 6-9):

Jesus says that “from the beginning of creation”—indicating GOD’S INTENTION: “let no man separate.”

 

-       Conclusion (verses 10-12):

Jesus once again makes it clear that whoever divorces and remarries commits adultery—sin.

 

Thus, in Mark’s account, it seems really clear that, at the very least, we can be confident in saying that (once again alongside the rest of Scripture) God is pro-marriage and anti-divorce. God’s intention would not permit divorce. This passage also clearly indicates divorce as sin.

 

Key passage #2: Matthew 19:1-12

In Matthew 19, the Pharisees test Jesus (19:3-4), saying “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?” (19:3) Again, Jesus quotes Genesis 2:24, that God’s creation ordination prohibits divorce (19:4-6). The Pharisees continue to ask Him why the Law allows divorce (19:7), in which Jesus replies again by saying “Because of your hardness of heart…” Again, divorce was allowed in the law because of sin and rebellion.

 

The key to the passage is verse 9 (cf. 5:32), which writes: “whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” This verse indicates that it is not sin to divorce one’s wife unless it is because of sexual immorality. However, this verse does not indicate that divorce itself is permissible, rather an “appropriate” thing to do because of our hardness of heart (9:8) which is an effect of the fall. Mankind’s sinful nature does not override God’s original creation intention.

 

Thus, it is unbiblical to claim that Matthew 19 permits divorce. Divorce has always been and will always be prohibited. Yet, it may be appropriate by our “hardness of heart”.

Key Passage #3: 1 Corinthians 7:8-16

1 Corinthians is written by Paul, yet, what he writes evokes what Jesus has said. Here's an overview of this passage, which is really clear if you take the time to read it:

Verses 8-9 (cf. 7:39-40): Unmarried and widows can marry, though Paul thinks it is good for them to remain as they are.

 

Verses 10-11: The Lord charges the married not to separate nor divorce.

 

Verses 12-14: The believer should not divorce an unbelieving wife.

 

Verses 15-16: If the UNBELIEVER (not believer!) divorces, “let it be so.”

 

Verdict: Divorce is prohibited for believers. If the unbeliever demands to separate, let it be the appropriate thing to do. 

  

Thus, from all the major New Testament passages on divorce, the general consensus seems to be really clear on the issue of divorce, that it is prohibited for those who submit to Christ as Lord. It is perhaps appropriate (the right thing to do) on the basis of adultery because of their hardness of heart—as evoked by an unbeliever!

 

As I mentioned earlier in this section, if a husband is violent towards his wife and his children, it may be appropriate or even necessary to divorce also because of his hardness of heart—but the condition of human fallenness does not mean divorce itself is permissible. Also, if a husband is indeed violent, I wonder if he is a believer. Nonetheless, divorce is prohibited, not permissible, and Christians who aspire to live like God should not divorce.  

What about Remarriage? 

The Bible cannot be clearer on this issue:

1)   One can remarry if one’s spouse has passed away (Rom 7:3; 1 Cor 7:39).   

2) One cannot remarry on any other basis. “Whoever remarries commits adultery” (Matt 5:32; Mk 10:12; Lk 16:18), which is sin.[1] 

Remarriage is NOT a sin that Jesus’ blood cannot atone for. However, it is a sin that leaves a stain, alongside far-reaching terrible impacts and implications. 

Conclusion:

I fully understand that many people have known people, or have personally experienced a divorce. My goal in this article is not to condemn as all have fallen short of God's glory. Rather, I pray that a biblical understanding of divorce may allow God's people to view marriage rightly--that it is a covenant and union that represents God's image. Let us honor marriage and experience the beauty it brings--as divorce destroys and remarriage (unnaturally) ravishes. 

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[1] Some may argue that “the brother or sister is not enslaved” (δεδούλωται) in 1 Corinthians 7:15 points the one who has been divorced by an unbelieving spouse as having the right to remarry. I disagree with this notion, but even if I were to concede, I would say that this passage is ambiguous. Yet, considering Matthew 5:32, Mark 10:12, and Luke 16:18, it seems unequivocally clear that remarriage on any basis other than death is sin.

The Biblical View of Sexuality and Marriage

The Biblical View on Sexuality and Marriage

This article isn’t particularly unique as there are tons of great articles and teaching on the biblical view of sexuality and marriage. Yet, perhaps the difference between my article and other ones lie in how I will be explaining how sexuality and marriage are intrinsically tied to God Himself and His creation order and how it relates to us humans being made in the image of God. This article is also written as an address to people who are not familiar with the Bible and biblical terms—so it should be a fun, easy read! :) 

Sexuality in the Creation Order

The Bible mainly comprises two main sections, the Old and New Testament. The Old Testament begins with a creation story in the Book of Genesis. Genesis means “beginning” (in the Greek). This story presents God as the creator of the universe as there was nothing in the beginning. Not only did God create the universe, the world, and everything within it, He (capitalized “He” refers to God) also specifically created humans (Genesis 1:26-27; 2:24-25)! What’s very interesting in the first chapter of the Bible is that God called all that He had created as “good” (Genesis 1:4; 1:10; 1:12; 1:18; 1:21; 1:25), but only after He had finished creating humankind did He call all of His creation as “very good” (1:31).

This shows that there is something special about humans, and that is found in Genesis 1:27-28, which writes:

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

God creating mankind in His image is highly significant because He did not create anything else, including the angels that attend Him in His presence in heaven, in His image. Mankind, you and me, being created in His image and form means that we are representative of God. When someone sees you or me they see God. For example, everything created in the image of a car means that when you see it—even if it’s not labeled as a “car”—you know it's a car. In the same way, being created in the Image of God means that we reflect God!

Hence, this ties into the theme of sexuality and gender as God created humankind with distinct genders. God didn't create a man with a man or a woman with a woman, but distinctively man and woman. A decently theological statement is that “sexuality and gender are grounded in the creation order.” This means that, since God created gendered humankind, gender has been fixated by God. Gender is not a matter of our choice, but of God’s choice as He created us in a certain way. What’s more interesting is the third line (or phrase) of Genesis 1:27, which writes: “…male and female he created them.” This reflects that God’s Image, God’s form, is both male and female.

What about God being “male”?

You might have heard that Christians address God with male pronouns such as “He” or “Him”. God chose to address Himself this way, but this does not mean that God Himself is male. God does not have a physical body because He is Spirit (John 4:24). In fact, pretty much every other idol or "god" that existed in the OT/NT era (e.g.: Baal, Zeus) , and even many today, are either male or female (either from humans or animals). These "gods" are so manmade they resemble so much to humans. Yet, as for the Lord, He does not lie in the binary distinction between male and female. He transcends as He created it, and both male and female represent Him. All to say, both male and female are of His image.

Male and Female in the Image of God

Thus, because God created humankind as both male and female—as a reflection as a representation of who He is—there is something unique and distinct about a man being with a woman. In other words, there is something special in what is known as “marriage”. This is where Genesis 1:28 comes to play. This passage records the first charge given by God to us, that is: “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” In order to have dominion over all of creation, humans firstly need to fill the earth. But in order to fill the earth, mankind needs to reproduce. Yet, reproduction can only take place through the act of sexual intercourse, and sexual intercourse can only take place through a male and female.

God created humankind as gendered for a specific purpose—to establish dominion and authority over the rest of His creation. A man lying with a man cannot reproduce, nor can this take place when a woman sleeps with a woman. God created the universe and everything in it in an intelligent way. The official term is “intelligent design”, which shows that God created everything with a specific purpose, especially regarding gender and sexuality. Therefore, if you are created by God as male, you have been given a specific purpose of a man, and if you are created by God as female, you have been given a specific purpose of a woman. But how does God creating male and female being purposed to “be fruitful and multiply” and to “have dominion” reflect His image? This reflects God as He is the creator. As the creator, He has dominion over everything as the King of kings and Lord of lords (Deuteronomy 10:17; Psalm 136:3; Revelation 19:16). Thus, humankind establishing dominion through multiplication reflects God’s rule and reign of everything—though we messed everything up because of sin (Genesis 3).

The Institution of Marriage

With that mentioned, in the Creation story—the core foundation of the Christian faith—God has institutionalized something between one man and one woman. If you look at Genesis 2, the Bible provides a more detailed version of the creation story zoomed in towards Adam and Eve. In Genesis 2:18-25, Scripture shows that God created woman as man’s helper (Genesis 2:18). Now I know what you might be thinking but let me continue. The Old Testament is primarily written in the Hebrew language, and the English bibles we’re reading have all been translated. So, our current definition of “helper” could be different from the meaning in Hebrew. In fact, the word “helper” is oftentimes used as “ally” in the form of military intervention (Deuteronomy 33:7; 33:26; 33:29). In fact, not only is the woman called the “helper”, in Psalm 33:20 (cf. 70:5; 115:9-11; 121:1-2), the same word is used to describe God! Nonetheless, this shows why God created woman, that she was created for man, in which her desire is for her husband (Genesis 3:16), so that they may not be alone!

God created man and woman to be joined to each other, and this institution is called marriage. This is explicitly seen in Genesis 2:24, which writes: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This passage explicitly highlights the union of marriage, in which the man is not being one with a woman but holding fast to his wife. This shows that God created humankind as male and female for a purpose, that is, to subdue and fill the earth through the institution of a male-female union known as marriage. Therefore, God has specifically designed marriage to be between one male and female; in other words, the only eligible marriage can only take place between one man and woman.

A common response towards this definition of marriage is that the Bible itself includes many instances of people not adhering to this definition. Some people would argue that Biblical characters such as Jacob, David, and Solomon all had more than one wife. Yet, the people whom Scripture designates as godly, such as Job (Job 1:1; 1:8) and Noah (2 Peter 2:5), all lived out the biblical definition of marriage. More importantly, God Himself is constantly with the definition of marriage which He established as He only has one bride (Ephesians 5:22-33; Revelation 19:7-9; Isaiah 54:5; John 3:29). 2 Corinthians 11:2 writes: “For I [Paul] feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.” Furthermore, Scripture strongly presents how those who did not adhere to the biblical definition of marriage, such as David, Jacob, and Solomon suffering the consequences of deviating from the God-intended order of marriage. And if you look deeper into the consequences of those not following the biblical mandate of marriage, some of these consequences are not recorded as a punishment from God. Many natural issues arise from their deviation for God’s law.

I’m not sure if you have noticed, but so far, I have mostly addressed the Old Testament and you might be wondering about what the New Testament has to say regarding this issue. The reason why a robust understanding of sexuality, gender, and marriage in the Old Testament is crucial is that it serves as the foundation for everything else. This is firstly seen in the New Testament, when Jesus speaks on the issue of marriage, He refers all the way back to the creation order. Consider Matthew 19, which is mostly believed to be written almost 1400 years after the composition of the first five books of the Bible, including Genesis:

“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6)

As you can see, it is evident here that Jesus Christ, who is God Himself, begins by saying “…He who created them from the beginning”, referring to Genesis and affirms everything written there—as I have just explained to you above!

In fact, the reason why the biblical definition of marriage is important is not merely because “the Bible says so”. We can see everywhere that people arising from unnatural families—"families” that are not in accordance with the biblical one male-female union—suffering from many issues. Even on psychological terms, a child who lacked a father and a mother figure usually derives many issues. The point here is to state that the biblical worldview of sexuality, gender, and marriage, is good! If God is real, alive, and active, His mandate and ways are the best because He is the creator. It is similar to a video game or a novel. The creator of the game and the writer of the novel would always know the intricacies best. In the same way, following the biblical definitions of sexuality, gender, and marriage is the best way because God is real and so are the natural laws of His creation order.

All to say, Scripture uniformly adheres to a very clear and distinct set of beliefs regarding sexuality, gender, and marriage. There is honestly no concrete or meaningful biblical debate regarding this issue. Our sexuality and gender are defined by our creator in the creation order, and marriage is a union, one flesh, between one man and woman.

Bonus Question: What about Galatians 3:28?

Galatians 3:28 writes: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Some say that, based on this verse, there are no more genders since "there is no male and female". I can absolutely (I rarely use this strong word) conclude that this is not what Paul was intending to assert, nor does God think so.

 

First, if Paul suddenly thought that there was no gender, why does he use gendered language, such as “Apphia our sister” (Philemon 1:2), “sister Phoebe” (Rom 16:1), or “…brother and sister” (1 Cor 7:15)? Why would he also indicate gendered roles in marriage, that a man is the head of the family (Eph 5:23) and should love his wife self-sacrificially as Christ loved the church (5:25-26)? Why should a wife be a wife, and submit (not as a slave/servant, but as to the Lord as Christ submitted to the Father)? 

Second, Galatians 3 is a discourse on faith and the promises of God, that “the righteous shall live by faith” (3:11), in which righteousness is not based on works but faith (3:5). Thus, a Christian is a son and daughter of God (3:25), who partakes in the promises given to Abraham (3:29; 3:9). Using Galatians 3:28 to invalidate gender or gender roles displays terrible reading and interpretational skills.

Third, this one verse fails to usurp the tons of other passages mentioned in this article, as well as broadly in Scripture, regarding God’s intention with His creation of gender. If humans are created as male or female, that’s that.

Fourth, if we were to be more academic and technical, there isn't a verb in the original Greek text for "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female." This means that this entire phrase is descriptive and modifying the previous one, "Χριστὸν ἐνεδύσασθε", which is about putting on Christ (3:27). Thus, this passage is really about how everyone can live as Christ, as summarized by the end of 3:28 "for you are all one in Christ Jesus." We are one in Christ to demonstrate Christ. In other words, it doesn't matter whether we are male/female, slave/free...we all reflect Christ. 

Thus, in all truthfulness and honesty, Galatians 3:28 really isn’t addressing the issue of sexuality and marriage that many today are obsessed with. What God thinks about sexuality and marriage is super clear in Scripture.

 

-Barnabas